people who exercise in order to get rid of period cramps are the ones surviving the apocalypse.
I keep having to remind myself that it’s the lionesses that do the hunting and killing and get their faces soaked in blood I mean is there a more badass animal
the king of the jungle
in the second it’s like ‘maybe if I look away she’ll stop yelling at me’
I TOLD YO BITCH ASS TO PICK UP THE CUBS
Its the alpha
When Lions fight they try to look big and powerful to scare off the opponent.
When Lionesses fight, it’s to the death,
And I think that pretty much sums up the difference between males and females. One tries to big itself up, one won’t back down.
FUCK I FORGOT THAT THE BIRD STORE I WORK AT HAS ONE BABY BIRD THAT LIKES TO SLEEP IN PEOPLES POCKETS IM HOME AND SOMETHING IS MOVING IN MY POCKET OH FUCK
YEAH ITS THE BIRD I JUST ACCIDENTALLY STOLE A BIRD
MY BOSS JUST GAVE ME THE MOST STERN LOOK OF DISAPPROVAL BEFORE HE STARTED LAUGHING SO HARD HE HAD TO GRAB THE EDGE OF A TABLE
9 hours of studying and I can’t remember my own name but I can remember how to kill a man using a toothbrush so there’s that
the hell kind of classes are you taking?
I’m a forensic criminologist our slogan is “can’t run fast enough to be a serial killer so I’ll just help the police catch them”
but how do you kill a man with a toothbrush